Attending Multiple Showers

My daughter-in-law lives 2 hours from us and is having multiple baby showers. One is next weekend and is at a location almost four hours away. There will be another one the following weekend with a different group of guests.

As the grandmother to be, would it be rude for me to skip the one that is so far away? If so, how could I word it so as not to offend my daughter-in-law, with whom I don't have an already strained relationship?

I have already purchased gifts for all the showers and could give her the gift for this one the following week.

Our Answer:

Hi,

Thanks for your etiquette question. Typically, when a mother in law or another close family member is invited to more than one baby shower, it is with the intention to let them feel welcome and part of the whole celebration experience.

An invitation to both baby showers is a compliment that your daughter in law is giving to you. She would like you to feel "welcome to come to both parties if you would like to."

She is most likely not expecting you to show up at both, but is extending an invitation out of courtesy.

Of course, I don't know your daughter in law so I cannot say for a fact that those are her intentions. But double invites do happen a lot at baby showers for close family members and friends.

I think it is wonderful that you are thoughtful enough to get her 2 baby shower gifts. And you are more than gracious to want to let her know your intentions for attending the baby showers.

If you haven't RSVP'd for the baby shower you are planning to attend, make sure you do so. I would also call the other baby shower hostess(the one that is 4 hours away) and let her know that you are unable to make it. This is just out of courtesy so the hostess know what to expect.

Then a simple friendly phone call is all you need to do. Don't feel like you need to make any excuses or explain anything. Just tell her you are excited to go to her baby shower, you are unable to make it to the first one, but you have purchased a gift for both and will be seeing her at the second one.

She should be more than happy that you called to let her know and thankful that you have been thoughtful enough to purchase her 2 gifts.

Good luck!