Baby is 1 month old...still haven't sent out the thank you's!!

by Jeannette
(Syracuse NY)

My daughter's baby shower was on Dec 1, 2007. Her baby was due Jan 25. She had a very difficult pregnancy and was sick the whole time. However, the baby is now a month old and she still hasn't sent out the thank you notes for the shower. How long after the shower is 'too long' for her guests to wait for that personal thank you??

Our Answer:

Thank you for your etiquette question. I usually advise people to get their baby shower thank you cards in the mail as soon as possible so they don't have to worry about it when the baby comes.
Your daughter had a rough pregnancy and no doubt she is probably going without sleep right now, so try not to be too hard on her. Perhaps a gentle nudge from you might help her get them out soon. Here is the general etiquette on thank you cards for gifts.

Although experts agree that a late thank you note is better than none at all, there are some general time frames that are considered proper to get the thank you cards out.

Best scenario, the thank you note from the shower should be given before the baby arrives. Since showers are thrown 1-2 months before the baby is born, it should give the mom to be plenty of time.

If the mom to be waits until after the baby is born, 4 weeks is an acceptable time frame. After she hits the 6 week time frame, she starts to open herself up criticism from others.

It should never take longer than 3 months after the baby is born to send out the thank you notes. There just is no reason for it.

I hope that helps. Congratulations on the new grandchild!

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Comments for Baby is 1 month old...still haven't sent out the thank you's!!

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Can mom write thank yous
by: Anonymous

My daughter has not sent thank you cards and the shower was 21/2 months ago. I am embarrassed and am thinking about writing thank you cards notes. Is that appropriate?

Small Tip
by: Mariah

I try to get my baby shower thank you notes out to my guests before the baby is born. It is a lot harder once the baby is born because I am exhausted and trying to get the baby on a sleep schedule. The times I have made sure the thank you notes were out early made a HUGE difference to me.

Please say thank you
by: Anonymous

I agree, even a late "thank you" is better than no thank you at all. I've been to many baby showers over the years. Most new mothers are pretty good at sending thank you notes. But the ones that don't say thank you tend to stand out for me. I think it is a considerate gesture for a person to say thank you for the gift she was given. It is such a small thing to take time to say thank you. But gratitude goes a long way.

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