Baby is 1 month old...still haven't sent out the thank you's!!

by Jeannette
(Syracuse NY)

My daughter's baby shower was on Dec 1, 2007. Her baby was due Jan 25. She had a very difficult pregnancy and was sick the whole time. However, the baby is now a month old and she still hasen't sent out the thank you's for the shower. How long after the shower is 'too long' for her guests to wait for that personal thank you??

Our Answer:

Thank you for your etiquette question. I usually advise people to get their baby shower thank you cards in the mail as soon as possible so they don't have to worry about it when the baby comes.
Your daughter had a rough pregnancy and no doubt she is probably going without sleep right now, so try not to be too hard on her. Perhaps a gentle nudge from you might help her get them out soon. Here is the general etiquette on thank you cards for gifts.

Although experts agree that a late thank you note is better than none at all, there is some general time frames that are considered proper to get the thank you cards out.

Best senario, the thank you note from the shower should be given before the baby arrives. Since showers are thrown 1-2 months before the baby is born, it should give the mom to be plenty of time.

If the mom to be waits until after the baby is born, 4 weeks is an acceptable timeframe. After she hits the 6 week timeframe, she starts to open herself up critism from others.

It should never take longer than 3 months after the baby is born to send out the thank you notes. There just is no reason for it.

I hope that helps. Congratulations on the new grandchild!