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Gift giving

by Aisha
(Philadelphia)

Is it wrong to tell people not to come to the party if they're not going to bring a gift?

Our Answer:

Hi there,

Thank you for your etiquette question. My answer is yes on both sides. It is considered rude to show up at a baby shower without a gift.

Sometimes there are baby showers that state on the invitation that no gifts are required. In my opinion that is the only time it is ok to show up at a baby shower without a gift. It is a given that the party is thrown to help the mom to be prepare for the new baby.

On the other side, it is also considered rude to tell your guests that they are not invited unless they bring a gift. Any indication of insisting on a certain type of gift on the baby shower invitation is against baby shower etiquette. In this case it makes your party look like a money grab. No one likes to give gifts to people who act ungrateful. A gift is given with love, and no matter what kind of gift it is, it should also be received with thankfulness.

I've covered most of the areas on etiquette regarding gifts at a baby shower. Hopefully it helps. Good luck!

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by: Anonymous

Is it wrong to show up without a baby shower gift if you have given the mom to be all of your own children's hand me downs. This is to say that most of the items are brand new including swings, car seats, bouncers, and more?
Please help. I certainly don't want to be rude; however, I also have given her more than I would for just one baby shower gift.
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by: Anonymous

I have been to many baby showers, bridal showers, and birthday parties over the years, and never have I gone without taking the Mother-to-be, the Bride, or the birthday person a gift! I had this happen to me on two different occasions for my children from the same person whom I thought was my friend! I thought it was very Rude!! I would never have done that to her children. It hurt my feelings and I know my children were hurt too. Whether they are a good friend, a relative, or someone you barely know it is just NOT proper etiquette to attend with bringing a gift. It doesn't matter the cost of the gift, it's the thought that counts!

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