Guests Paying For Their Own Lunches

How to ask people to pay for their lunch?

Our Answer:


Thank you for your etiquette question. It is actually against baby shower etiquette to ask your guests to pay for their own lunches at a baby shower. As a hostess, it is your responsibility to cover the food costs for your guests.

The baby shower is "your gift" to the mom to be. The guests' give their gift at the baby shower to the mom. If you are asking this question because your budget is looking a little small...then you will need to scale down the baby shower or ask a close friend to help you host.

A few tips about the budget...
1. Restaurants tend to be more costly to use at the party, but you do not have to worry about cleaning up and in most cases, decorating.

2. The cheapest place to host a shower would be at a home. You don't need to worry about rental fees and you are in charge of the types of food served.

3. If you choose a time that is not near breakfast, lunch or dinner times, then you can just serve appetizers which tend to be less costly.

4. If your budget still looks like it won't cover all of the supplies...simplify, simplify, simplify. Look to see what is necessary and what is not. Cut unnecessary items.

5. Balloons and streamers are a great and inexpensive way to decorate without spending lots of money.

I hope that helps. Good Luck planning the baby shower!

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Making guests pay is tacky
by: Anonymous

I was invited to my cousins baby shower at some flamboyant place that few of us could afford and asked on the invite to pay for the meal. I decided not to go. Its tasteless to expect people to pay at a baby shower and then expect them to bring a gift which they also have to pay for. And of course the hostess gets credit while saving tons of money of her own! Also I have been invited to similar showers but where the hosts payed for the basic meals and any extras were paid for by the guests (e.g extra drinks). Needless to say my cousin could not accept why some of us wouldn't attend her shower and ended up making snide remarks about us.Easy to say that when you're belle of the ball and enjoying all those free gifts. Keep it simple - something at home with some finger-food, cake and tea.

When hosting stay within your price range
by: Surprised Guest

It is in bad taste to invite guests to a shower and expect them to bring a gift as well as pay for their meal.
I was invited to a shower, hosted by the mom-to-be's best friend. The shower was at a local cafÄ— that has event rooms. It was to my surprise when I had to pay for my own meal.
It would have been a better idea to just have cake, refreshments and provide finger food.
What is the point of hosting if all you are doing is reserving a room and asking for gifts?

Don't make your guests pay for their meal
by: Stephanie

Please don't do it. I was at a baby shower last year that was held at a restaurant where they had the guests pay for their own lunches! It came as a total surprise for most of us. There was nothing on the invitation letting us know beforehand so I didn't have a clue until the waitress starting handing all of the guests their bills. I could see it in the other guest's eyes that it was also unexpected for them. Luckily I had my wallet on me, but imagine how horrible it would have been if I had left it home. If you can't afford to hold it at a restaurant, please use a different venue. It was so awkward!

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