Invited To A Baby Shower, But I Do Not Know The Mom To Be!

A new friend of mine just invited me her sister's baby shower. She is hosting the celebration and I like her very much, and though I appreciate the invitation, I have never met her sister. Is this appropriate?

Our Answer:


Thank you for your etiquette question. This question is arguable on both sides. First of all, her invitation was done as a token of friendship. She wants you to support her and her family in a special celebration of life.

There are so many different cultures and backgrounds that people come from. I can see how it can be seen as inappropriate. After all, you do not know the mom to be.

The answer to this question will depend on your relationship to the babysitter and how close it is. A lot of bridal showers and parties are thrown and people show up to "support the family". They might not know the guest of honor that well but they are showing up as a friend to the family.

My original answer was to state it is not proper etiquette. After all, it is very possible that you might feel awkward...

1. You don't know the mom-to-be.
2. You will be introduced as a friend of the hostess. The question will be in people's minds of why you attended without knowing the mom-to-be.

There is not much out there in baby shower etiquette that can give a firm answer in this situation. It all depends on how comfortable you will feel in this situation and how close your friendship is to the babysitter.

You will be seeing her on an everyday basis, so how you respond to her invitation will affect your relationship.

Your two choices are:

1. To go to the party. You are reaffirming your friendship by showing support for the family, even if you do not know the mom to be. You might feel awkward, then again you might have fun.

2. Explain you cannot make it and give a small gift for the mom-to-be as a token of your friendship. If your response is genuine, it should not hurt her feelings.

Remember she is taking care of your kids, so your response will need to be done with as much love and kindness as possible.

I hope that helps. Good Luck!

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Get her a small gift
by: Anonymous

I would just get her a card and small gift and tell her I can't make it to the party. That way you are supporting her without having to feel awkward at a party in which you do not know the mom to be. That's what I would do!

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