Mom's Etiquette

Does the mommy-to-be do anything for the shower? How does she "thank" the hostess (es)? Is a gift appropriate? Does she help pay for the shower? What is a first time mommy-to-be to do?

Our Answer:


Thank you for your etiquette question. There is not much that a mommy-to-be has to worry about when it comes to the baby shower. It will all depend on the type of shower you are having and your hostesses. But here are a few tips to play the part of a good "guest of honor".

1. Prepare your guest list as early as possible. Be sensitive to the fact that your hostesses might have a limited budget and might therefore also need a smaller guest list. There will always be a certain percentage that cannot show up due to scheduling conflicts, so it is best to ask the hostess(es) if there are any number limits on the guests.

2. Your hostess(es) gift to you is the shower. Let her handle all of the details. You can offer to help if you would like, but don't feel offended if she wants to take care of everything. Don't try not to take over the planning or pressure her to do it your way.

3. Show up to the baby shower promptly and be gracious to the hostesses and guests for taking the time to come to the party.

4. Take the time to fully acknowledge and thank each person for their gift, while you are opening it. They have spent time and money on your behalf. A gracious thank you will help them feel their effort was well worth it.

5. Send out the thank you cards in a timely manner. This is one time that the sooner the better does count. My biggest suggestion is to send them out before the baby arrives. Once the baby is here, it will be a lot harder to get them out. Worst case scenario, make sure they are out within a month of the baby's arrival.

6. Your hostess(es) have spent a good amount of time and money making your baby shower the best experience for you. An appropriate way to say thank you to them is a thoughtful and sincere thank you note. Giving her a gift is a personal choice. If you choose to do so, check out our page on hostess gifts to get some good ideas.

Good luck with the baby shower and new baby on the way!

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