New Mom Lives Far Away

How do you handle a shower given in one state for a new mom who lives on the other side of the country? Is it appropriate to mention the difficulty in transporting large gifts? The mom to be will be traveling by plane to and from the baby shower.

Our Answer:

Hi there. Thanks for your etiquette question. I recently helped another hostess with this same delima. The easiest solution for this situation is to put a little note on the invitation about the gifts being travel friendly. Be careful not to mention money or gift certificates, as those words indicate "money grab" to a lot of people.

People also like to be given a choice on invitations so they feel you do not expect them to do something. If you can write a phrase like...

"If you choose to bring a gift to the shower, please consider (name) will be traveling home by plane."

(They will know that it is rude to show up to shower without a gift, but since you give them a choice without expectation they will most likely bring a smaller gift or a giftcard)

You might also want to make sure that the mom to be brings an empty suitcase as one of her checked bags just to accomadate physical gifts for those who would like to bring them.

Good Luck planning the shower!