Not Inviting Long Distance Relatives To The Baby Shower

My sister, and planned god-mother of my child, has offered to host my baby shower. We have decided that it will be at my home as it has more space. My out of town mother-in-law is invited, but called my husband to see if it would be okay to invite his step-brother's wife and daughter to the party from out of state.

This is bothersome to me as it is my sister paying for the shower and it would mean there would be 5-10 other out-of-town relatives we would need to invite and my sister and I do not want to feel obligated to find lodging. There will already be approximately 20 people attending as it is.

Is there anything wrong by just sending birth
announcements to out of town relatives and keeping the shower to local family & friends, with of course the exception of my mother-in-law who is invited?

Thank you

Our Answer:

Thank you for your etiquette question. You have the right to decide who is invited to the baby shower. This question of inviting long distance relatives comes up quite frequently, mostly by moms to be who are afraid that sending out an invitation to a relative in another state would be looked upon as a money grab.

My answer is usually that it is better to invite than to not invite and find out later that they would have come if they were invited. In your situation, since your mother in law is coming anyway, it is likely that these guests would also come to the baby shower.

As the guest of honor, you have the right to choose whether these people are invited or not to the baby shower. I don't know the dynamics of your family and if feelings will be hurt or not by choosing to not invite parts of the family to the shower.

It is totally up to you to decide the best way to go about it. If you do decide to not invite your long distance relatives, then birth announcements would be great to send them. It is a great way to help others feel like they are part of the celebration of new life.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and the baby shower!!

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I do agree with you...
by: Nisha-admin

Hi there,

I agree with all of your comments. Looking at my response, I can see how it would look like the first line of my response could be answering the very last question asked by the reader. I was actually reaffirming that Yes, as the mom-to-be, she had the right to decide who would be invited to the baby shower.

I briefly went over both sides of the situation and gave her the choice to make the decision on the matter.

Although this question was answered over 2 years ago, I felt it was appropriate to take out the first couple words of the paragraph that was causing the confusion. :)

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I disagree
by: Anonymous

I think it should be up to the mother-to-be (and hostess) to choose the guest list and that it is actually quite rude for a guest to suggest other guests whom they feel should be invited. It really depends on the relationship between the mother-to-be and the potential guest. If the mother-to-be isn't close to the potential guest and feel comfortable with her attending, then she should not be pressured into inviting that guest (or guilt-tripped into doing so). The step-sister-in-law and family may not fit in well with the already invited guests (presumably old friends of the mother-to-be) and the mother-to-be is the best judge of this. Why should she have to feel uncomfortable at her own shower?

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