Only daughter's baby shower

by Doris
(Norfolk, Va)

Who is responsible for my daughter's baby shower - me? We do not live in the same town so this is tormenting me. Of course I want to do it but I don't have the financial resources to pull it off totally by myself. A co-worker's daughter is pregnant and she says it is so NOT the mom's responsibility - but I believe otherwise. All the women I know who had babies had showers given by their mothers. I understand a bridal shower being given by friends. Your help is so appreciated.

Our Answer:

Hi Doris,

First of all, congratulations on the new baby in family. A baby shower can be thrown by anyone, except the mom-to-be. Usually, someone approaches her and offers to host the baby shower. If she is just barely pregnant, she has some time before baby showers are typically thrown (around 7-8 months)and someone might offer to host the shower. I have known a good amount of moms that end up hosting their daughter's baby shower, but it definitely not something that is required.

SIDENOTE:I had a baby shower for each of my 2 sons and neither of them were hosted by my mother. (She lives a few hours away from me.)

If she does not get an offer by someone to host a baby shower, and you would like to do something for her, there are a few things you can do.

1.Check to see if there are any close friends or family members that live close to her that will help you co-host. The baby shower does not necessarily need to be held before the baby is born. You can make arrangements to split the duties so it is easier to put it together. (Baby showers are so much sweeter with the little baby to cuddle!!)

2.Help her with a "Meet and Greet" or "Sip and See" once the baby is born. This can actually be hosted by the mom-to-be. It is just an open house for guests to come meet the new baby and chat with each other. This would cost considerably less than a baby shower since you would just need to worry about refreshments and a few decorations. The main event is the baby so you do not need to play games, unless you really want to.

I hope that helped. Good luck with everything!