Sending Out Of State Invitations

by Marge
(Boston, Ma, USA)

Should you send invitations to out of state people who will not be attending? To me it's like asking for a gift.

Our Answer:

Hi Marge,

Thank you for your etiquette question. If you do not feel comfortable sending invitations to people who live out of state, by all means...don't send them. A birth announcement is a perfect way to help them feel a part of the celebration. Long distance invitations should only be sent to those:

  • close family and friends in whom you would feel comfortable calling to ask if they would like an invitation.

    Otherwise, if it is someone who you are friends with and have not talked to or associated with for a while, a birth announcement is more appropriate. Friends and family that you are not that close to can see it as an invitation for a gift. Everyone's circumstances are a little different, so follow your instincts on this.

    Good luck with the baby shower!

    NOTE: We have received many requests about out of town/state relatives. It seems that our original advice is being missed so we are adding it to our questions pages. Please note that in "MOST" circumstances, a birth announcement is more proper and better received than an invitation to a baby shower.

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  • Comments for Sending Out Of State Invitations

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    Out of State Invitations
    by: Nisha-Editor

    Hi mom to be,

    I would send birth announcements instead in this situation.


    What to Say
    by: mommom to be

    Hi, I am just was looking for something nice to say in the invitation I know they can't make it but I wanted to share in our joy but didn't want them to think I was only inviting them for a gift. wish they could come but it is too far for the whole family to make the trip anything I can say ?

    When Mom lives out of state but comes homes for the shower
    by: Anonymous

    My husband and I live in florida. All family and friends are in NY. We will be having the shower in NY, but it's not practicial to have all the gifts shipped back to florida?? So, we are thinking to just have guests give checks, gift certificates, etc. Please provide some ideas on the invitaion text?

    Send a birth announcement
    by: Nisha- Editor

    I would look at a few things to decide.

    1. How far away do they live? If we are talking a few hours driving distance, I would send an invitation and let them make the decision on whether attending is worth it for them.

    2. How close are you to them? If we talking someone you see once a year and never call on the phone to chat with...your relationship might not be close enough to send an invitation to a party you know they cannot attend.

    In most cases, if they are not immediate family (mom, dad, brother, sister), a birth announcement is the best way to let them be part of your celebration. Hope that helps!

    How about aunts and grandmas?
    by: Anonymous

    Should out of town relatives such as Aunts and Grandmother's receive an invitation? Obviously they will not be able to attend because of the distance, but we don't want to offend anyone.

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