Miscarriage After Shower

I am having my first child after years of trying and IVF. I already have people mentioning wanting to throw me a shower. Due to the fact that the Dr. says I may need to go on bed rest early on and that he is pretty sure I will deliver early, my friends are talking about throwing a party 3 or so months before the due date.

What is the etiquette if, god forbid, I lose the baby after the shower occurs? I know it is a terrible thing to think about, but I would want to know if you are supposed to return everything to everyone or keep for a potential future child. Do you leave tags and names on everything 'just in case' and assign someone the task?

thanks

Our Answer:

First of all, congratulations! I have known a few people in your situation and a new baby on the way is always great news! Of course your friends and family must be ecstatic; you deserve a fabulous baby shower.

You are very considerate to be thinking of your guests should something happen with the pregnancy. This is where your hostess comes in to your rescue. Let her know of your concerns. Since she is in charge of the shower, she will become the person in charge of the presents from the shower.

You will have so much on your mind that there is no way you can focus on something as presents from a shower. Let her take on the responsibility of contacting your guests and offering to return the gift. This is the proper etiquette response for the situation.

Your guests of course will have the choice whether to receive it back or donate it for a future pregnancy. If you are worried about a pregnancy loss, it also would be a good idea to keep the tags on the gifts, just in case.

Good Luck with your pregnancy. I hope everything goes well for you!

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